Um I love this song (I Don't Care- Blake Shelton) It totally pertains to my life.

There she was;
Laughin', talkin', window shoppin' with a new guy.
And I'd heard about him.
I heard she found him right around when we said good-bye.

And I came real close and almost lost my temper.
But I bit my tongue, kept my cool, 'cause I remembered...

[Chorus:]
I don't care.
She don't matter.
I don't love her anymore, he can have her!
I don't know why it slips my mind,
I tell myself all the time;
Guess I forgot again for a second there;
That I don't care.

[Verse:]
Almost 10:00.
I should've known his car would still be parked in her drive.
Almost pulled in;
Knocked on her door and gave her a piece of my mind.

Oh, but I just kept on driving back to my place;
Wonderin' why I went so far out of my way when...

[Chorus:]
I don't care.
She don't matter.
I don't love her anymore, he can have her!
I don't know why it slips my mind,
I tell myself all the time;
Guess I forgot again for a second there;
That I don't care.

[Bridge:]
When I got home, the light was blinkin' on that old machine.
She said, "My brother's been in town, but he just left.
And, I miss you! Give me a ring."

[Chorus:]
I still care!
She's all that matters!
I still love her just like always, gotta have her.
I never got her off my mind, been hopin' she would call sometime.
I know it's late, to be drivin' over there, but I don't care!
I don't care.

There Is No Arizona- Jamie O'Neal

Dragging Me Along

When you are a little girl, you dream of what your life is gonna be like when you grow up. You dream of your house, your kids, your husband(: you dream of your wedding, being proposed to. It sucks when you grow up and your life isn't how you wanted it. All those dreams, seem so silly and stupid.

How did I imagine my life? Well I was going to marry a firefighter (just like my grandpa and my Uncle Bret) We were going to have a big house, and a lot of horses. I wanted a pretty outdoor wedding... and a big dress, and be married in the temple like my grandparents. I wanted to be skinny and pretty. I wanted a man with blue eyes, who was taller then me, and a hard worker, one of those like you would see on those Wrangler commercials.

Now, let me get one thing straight. One day I really want that life. I just really don't see how I get there? Oh boy, my life is so different then I wanted. I just want to look at myself and think I am right where I always wanted to be!! Ugh, well who knows what life has in store for you right? Well for tonight I have a really good song I wanna share with you all!

He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona
Underneath the blue never ending sky, swore that he was gonna
Get things in order, he'd send for her
When he left her behind, it never crossed her mind

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

She got a postcard with no return address, postmarked Tombstone
It said "I don't know where I'm goin' next but when I do
I'll let you know"
May, June, July, she wonders why
She's still waiting, she'll keep waiting 'cause

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

Each day the sun sets into the west
Her heart sinks lower in her chest and
Friends keep asking when she's going
Finally she tells them don't you know

There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona

Bitchin again

Ok, so, Today I went to buy some jeans so I can go to work on Monday. I go in and select the pairs I want, and I walk up to pay. The girl who takes my money, well she's the type that's got the long pretty hair and long eyelashes and skinny... Well I think that girls like that are all air heads right. Everyone thinks I am so awful for thinking that! Well I have a very specific story now to back up my belief. She rang me up at $53.43 so I gave her $55.45 (which breaks down to two 20's a 10 a 5 a quater and two dimes) and she didn't give me my change back. I got home (yes, that proves I am an airhead too) and realized I didn't get my change back and I looked at my receipt and sure enough she didn't put the actual amount I gave her. She put I gave her exact cash. GURRRRRRRRRRRR. Stupid Barbie Bitch. I hope she gets in trouble cause her till doesn't add up. Bitch owes me $2.02. Ugh, stupid pretty people.

Me, Rude? No Honey, I am a Straight Up Bitch!

Ha, Well I think we should set something straight... I can be the nicest person in the world! I would do anything in the world for anyone! Without even thinking about it, I am a really nice person. However I am going to be honest, even if it comes off rude. Let me let you know I am me, I say what I think, I am not afraid to tell you how I feel and if you can't handle it, well I am sorry. Talk to someone else then, cause I am not who you want to talk to.

hmmmm...

I understand being busy, trust me I do. But if you can't carry a conversation with me, I am gonna get bored... And mostlikely won't want to put an effort into talking to you. I mean I don't want to be the center of your whole world, that's not the kind of girl I am... I just want a real conversation. I didn't realize that in these days, its so hard to find?

I love this song, seriously though!!

I got that real good feel good stuff
Up under the seat of my big black jacked up truck
Rollin' on 35s
Pretty girl by my side

You got that sun tan skirt and boots
Waiting on you to look my way and scoot
Your little hot self over here
Girl hand me another beer, yeah!

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin’ down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!

Might sit down on my diamond plate tailgate
Put in my country rock hip-hop mixtape
Little Conway, a little T-Pain, might just make it rain

You can hang your t-shirt on a limb
Hit that bank and we can ease on in
Soak us up a little moonlight
You know I know what you like, yeah!

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin’ down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!

My kind of your kind of its this kind of night
We dance in the dark and your lips land on mine
Gonna get our love on
Time to get our buzz on

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin’ down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!
Come on...

OMG Where Has This Song Been All My Life?

My life.

haha(: this is really funny!!

Bleh.

So, I mean... I am the kind of girl who doesn't need a guy to make her life complete or happy. (Well minus Nikson and Farley.) But it would sure be nice, for a guy who was everything I wanted would just show up and stay... It seems like the kind of guy I want always has eyes for a different girl. I am the kind who is "fun to talk to" or "not really the girl they are looking for". I don't know what it is, but the guys who want me aren't guys I want... they are the guys who think they can push me around or want to use me cause they see baby and think I am easy. Well, I am not easy at all... I don't want sex, I want a guy to come in my life and stay. I know that, that sounds bad, because I don't really want a relationship and want the right guy to make me want a relationship. However at the same time, I don't want to drag Nikson through relationship after relationship. I want someone who he will want to model himself after, who will take him fishing, teach him to play football, teach him to shoot, and work on cars. Is that so much to ask for? A manly man, who will love me and my son, and treat us with the respect we deserve?

little rant...

Just an FYI if someone is to good to be true, they probably are. No explanation needed!

A little girls abondonment

He told her daughter he hated her and wished she was never born.
He didn't even seem to care that the child's heart was torn.
He blamed child for all of his heartache and pain.
Did he realize emotional abuse, can drive a child insane.
He said his child was the reason he never achieved his dreams.
Those words hurt his child more, than to him they may have seemed.
All his daughter wanted was his love and his affection.
But all she ever got was her fathers constant rejection.
Feeling like a lost child with no one to love.
She prayed to be taken away to the heavens above.
Not knowing why she just wasn't good enough.
Why when she needed gentleness she was treated so rough.
Wondering why her existence caused her father so much pain.
Longing for her father's love, she probably would never gain.
Wanting her father to tell her she was a blessing.
That she was not the reason for her father's stressing.

Family

Family is who we look to when we need help. We expect our parents to raise us, our grandparents to love us, and our brothers and sisters to always be there for us when the chips are down. They are our blood and we depend on that connection. When a family member doesn't live up to our expectations we feel abandoned. When a parent, grandparent or older brother or sister puts their needs in front of our own, we feel abandoned and alone. In such a case, we are likely to feel sad, alone and angry.

Paige's wedding.

Oh my goodness Paige's wedding. First of all, Paige is so freaking gorgeous!! I absolutely hate it... I mean my cousins are so beautiful! I am over here like I am on a diet I shouldn't eat Ice Cream, ok maybe one scoop, better give me two... oh and some caramel... so much for my damn diet. Ugh, I told some people last night when I grow up I want to be pretty... Haha, I think endless amounts of plastic surgery wouldn't even fix that. haha, oh well.. I am just gonna embrace the fact I am going to be single for life. I mean, I came really close to getting married! Derek and I were planning for September 21, 2013... I had a dress, we had rings, we were buying decorations... and then I realized I wasn't happy. We always were fighting, we weren't supposed to be together, he wasn't really who I wanted. I am not saying I don't love him, because I do, I just don't want to be with him the rest of my life. We were in a hole there is no other way to describe it, other then a hole! I was so desperately trying to crawl out and be able to float, and it wasn't going to happen with him around. Anyways, I want to just comment on how gorgeous Paige's wedding was! It was Mint and Pink (it's Paige, of course there was Pink! She even got Unc. Bret, her dad, in a Pink tie!! That's an accomplishment) With a country twang! It was gorgeous. They danced and that was gorgeous he dipped her and kissed her. It was cute. Congratulations Paigey! I am so happy for you!! Kyle is great, ha, he hugged me... and came to meet me after my baby shower he can't be too bad. Anyways, I am totally jealous of her.. I came so close. Thank god I am not married!

We Can't Stop, Miley Cyrus

Oh my freak!! I love this song... I mean its so like I am who I am I don't care what you think!! Kiss my ass, I love it! Now, I am not really a fan of Miss Miley... but I sure love this song! Summer 2013 Anthem!

A Bitchin Session: if you don't want to hear about it find another blog to read.

Ugh, so lately I have been really struggling with everything. I struggle with Derek being gone, I mean it was my choice and I am greatful I made it. I just have a hard time taking care of Nikson all alone. I mean my mom is right there, but she can only do so much. He has been so upset the last few days, and I am having a hard time with no help. I love him, I just am under a lot of stress not knowing what to do, and doing this all alone. More of my own decisions, being a single mom is really hard. I hate being home, I really need friends to hang out with, and Kara is so far away and I haven't seen her since Nikson was born. I am really having a hard time with family, because I feel like I had this vision of how perfect my family used to be... and its not there any more. I miss my grandparents... I mean part of my new thing lately is, I don't really care what other people think of me; I am 19 years old and I am going to do what I want reguardless of what anyone else thinks... But for once, I would just like to not be the one who's so screwed up no one even wants to be around me. I make mistakes and if you know me well I make a hell of a lot of them, but I take care of my shit! That should mean something, I am getting my life figured out and getting myself going. I feel like I am doing everything I can to find a way to make sure that Nikson is taken care of and no one seems to think I am doing enough. I am doing everything I know how, I mean my hell, look at me a year ago and me now... Those two girls are two completely different girls. So, whatever. I am gonna do me, with or with out your approval. I guess that's what I have to do, I am sick of feeling like shit cause of everyone else! If you think you could be better in my situation please go ahead and prove it.