UGH YOU PISS ME OFF SO BAD!!!

I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him... ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I hate him, I hate him for making me love him. I hate him for being so perfect, I hate him for everything he has about him that makes it hard to do anything but love him. I hate that I can't make him love me. What do I do? I tried walking away, but it's like I get around the block and turn back to come see if he'll chase me. I get these nasty messages that tell me he's not as good as I know he is... and still I want him. Still I look at him and only want him to wrap his arms around me and make me feel that peaceful feeling that we're in our own world, and no one can mess with us or hurt us. I just want us to  be good again. I want him right here, right now. I miss him so much it makes me sick.